Well this morning was the first real snow of the year. I was not expecting this at all, of course I don't watch the weather either so go figure. What the snow did do was cause my classes today to be canceled by professors who didn't want to drive on the roads today so I could have left for home yesterday with Taylor.

It'll be nice to home again this time around I think. Also, those of us within the continental boundaries and near home should get together.

So. I am possessed with little to say. I got all of my classes but I am still going over what the hell I'm going to do with myself. More and more education seems like something I should put aside for awhile until I get out of my funk.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on here before, but I'll say it again if I have, I've been taking citalopram for the past few months. The first week, oddly enough (if any of you know how anti-depressants are supposed to work), was the only time I felt better. It's just been more of the same since. So obviously I need to have another chat with el doctor. Therapy is something that I might have to consider as aggravating as that would be.

I'd say I'm depressed at this point. I've said it before but I've always been leery of using that term lightly. I have good moments and obviously I still have fun and enjoy doing certain things but there is this...reoccurrence of thought cycles in my head that lead me down. What I want the most is just to be able to sleep all day or sit planted in a chair with headphones blocking everything out. I forget things. I think I've been losing weight too but I don't know. My apathy only serves to make my situation worse which makes thinking worse, yadda yadda yadda.

This is all hilarious because I'm supposed to be the stable one in my family. I done good and gone to school, I keep the peace most of the time. If nothing else by being quiet all the time I'm neutral territory. God, I am so unfair to my family sometimes.

Now I can't bring myself to complete the simple tasks that I (but really my cosigning parents) are paying for.

Sorry for the awkward post, I know I wouldn't know what to say to one of you if you put up something similar. I guess I had some things to say after all.

edit: um by 'education' I mean of course the Education Department. By no means am I thinking about dropping out.

Well, for those of you who happened to check facebook and happened to notice a certain status update I gave you might have figured out that I was extremely upset about something.
That something was a class that is fundamental for my major being changed around. Because Castleton is 'the small school with a big heart' alot of classes can only be made available once a semester and often only once every two years. Theories and Practices of History, which is senior seminar lite, is in my course catalog (which acts as a degree contract) lists this as being held every Spring. Well I go to get a preliminary schedule and lo and behold it is only available in the Fall. You'd think this fact would have been made public? Maybe?
Nope. My adviser didn't bother to mention it to me and after talking today with many history majors not a one of them knew about the change. I hate Castleton. I really do.
Anyway, after I exploded and bitched to Keri for three hours about how everything sucked and there was really no point in continuing my education as I got screwed at every turn. (She happened to be visiting our pod, Taylor and Mike and Bethany were present but were smart enough to just tune me out. Keri learned the hard way about my doom rants.)
There is no professionalism at this school.

Whatever. I register for classes at Midnight. Here is what I'll end up with:

EDU-2870 Early Field Experience
EDU-3410 Educational Assessment
EDU-3450 Instructional Applications of Computers
EDU-4210 Models of Secondary Teaching

FRE-1112 French II, because of schedule conflict this class will be an independent study with the sole other History Honors student. We will be reading French literature because our degree only requires reading comprehension.

INT-1052 Soundings II, A Freshman requirement but I never got around to finishing it.

and (drum roll please)

INT-2110 Collapse of a Civilization, Which includes a one week trip to Belize to view Mayan ruins. It includes components of South American biology, Mayan astronomy and of course history.

So that kind of makes up for London. But Castleton will have to work hard for forgiveness.